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Anticipatory Grief and Loss: When You’re Grieving What Hasn’t Happened Yet

Since I was a child, I have asked questions about death. I’ve always been a deep thinker — some might say an old soul. I’ve never known a time when I wasn’t aware that death could come at any moment.

Maybe you’ve felt something similar — that quiet, uneasy knowing in your daily life, alongside the love you carry for those around you. Or maybe you’re carrying grief as you care for a significant person in your life, in their final days. This experience of grieving before a death occurs can feel confusing and complex — it is called anticipatory grief.

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couples, relationships, attachment Cordelia Mejin couples, relationships, attachment Cordelia Mejin

A.R.E You There? Emotional Responsiveness: The Key to Secure Connections

Partners may use different words and express their distress differently. However, they are oftentimes asking the same questions, “Are you there for me? Do I matter to you? Will you come when I need you, when I call? In other words, they are yearning for emotional responsiveness.

Dr. Sue Johnson, marriage and family therapist who extensively researched attachment-based therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (a therapy she developed more than 30 years ago), found that emotional responsiveness is the key to lasting love and secure connections.

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